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10 First Date No-No's...

Here’s the moment of truth. You’ve met someone you really like. You’re excited. You’re nervous. You begin to formulate a plan. You mull over how you will dress, talk and act. You begin to think through what you’ll say, what they’ll say and then what you’ll say to what they said…

Hold on one second. Before you get too tied up with what you are going to do, realize the first date is more about not making a bad impression than it is making a good one. After all, the other person is going out with you – they’re interested.

Here are 10 first date blunders that virtually guarantee there won’t be a second date:

1. Talking only about yourself

– Isn’t it sad that the whole conversation can’t revolve around you? Not really. It should be fun to learn about someone else, their hopes, dreams, work and life. So while it’s tempting to try to impress by talking about yourself, it’s far more influential to be interested in the other person. Dating is a two way street. Let them talk at least 50-60% of the time and you’ll be ok.

2. Revealing too much

– I know what you’re thinking. "I need to be honest so that they know up front who I am and my past."

Ok, lets settle down there for a minute. There is a time and place for everything. A first date is not the time to spill the beans on embarassing past moments and deepest darkest secrets. At best your revelation will make you both unvomfortable. At worst, she might brandish the pepper spray.

Same for the women. First dates aren’t the place to reveal past relationships or your chocolate addiction. Keep it light and fun, not heavy and depressing.

3. Not listening

– Have you ever had someone ask you a question and as you were answering, they changed the subject? How did you feel? You probably felt like you weren’t very important to that person right?

It’s the same with first dates. We want to impress the other person, but the best way to impress is be impressed. Ask questions and listen intently to the answers. You should want to know. After all, by dating you will be spending a lot of time with someone, wouldn’t it be better to learn as much about that person as possible?

4. Not looking your best

– Isn't it great when some people say, "I'm not going to waste time getting all dressed up for this date. If he doesnt like me for more than the way I look then he's an idiot anyway..."

Sounds good on paper, but fact is, we are all concerned about the way we and our date look. Looking your best (notice that I didn't say dress like a sex-pot or wear a tuxedo and top hat) is a sign of confidence and security. Looking your worst implies that you might be sloppy and/or have bathing issues.

5. Trying to be cool or aloof

– "Hey baby, glad you could make it. I’ve ordered you a cocktail and have us a table waiting." Pretty cool eh?

Female readers are probably rolling their eyes right now. Trying to be cool will ensure one thing…that you aren’t.

Its the same with being aloof. Guys seem to do this more than women, but women can play it too. Pretending not to care will send a message to the other person… that you don’t care. You might say "But that’s like playing hard to get. What if that makes her chase me?"

Question: when has that ever worked out for you? No need for games. Show focused interest in the people you like or take up another hobby. You’re wasting everybody’s time and giving me a headache!

6. Having sex or being too sexual

– Sorry guys, no sex on the first date. And while we’re on the subject, keeping the sex talk to a minimum. First dates too focused on sex seldom lead to sex anyway. But not only that, they usually lead no future dates. So if you can stifle the sex talk you’ve got a much better chance of forming a close bond with the other person.

Close bonds lead to what? Typically we hang out with people we’ve bonded with. They don’t go running for the nearest police officer. *hint-hint*

Women, you need to listen too. Being too sexual tends to lead a guy to think about sex. When have you known people to think clearly when they are thinking about sex? Steer the conversation to everyday topics, keep it light and fun.

7. Going someplace where you cant talk

– Hey, I’ve got a great idea. Let’s go see the Pixies reunion show together for our first date. That way we can yell at each other and still not hear a word. The object of a first date is to keep it light and informative. You want to discover whether this person is compatible with you. You can’t possibly find that out if you can’t talk.

8. Not being yourself

– Similar to being cool above, being yourself is your only long term strategy. Lets say you don’t take this advice. How long can you keep up the act? I guarantee it won’t be long.

9. Bringing friends along

– People who bring along friends on a first date baffles the mind. There are so many ways this can go wrong it is almost sad. Let’s break it down. On most first dates, you are ahead of the game as long as you aren’t making a bad impression. Guys, do you really want to bring along your buddy who instantly doubles your odds of looking like a moron?

Ladies, I know you might think "Hey, there is safety in numbers… you never know if the guy is crazy." True, I guess you never do know. But if you have suspicions, then what are you doing going out with him in the first place? Instead of bringing your girlfriend(s) along, pick a public place where you can get to know the guy. Take as long as you need, but bringing along a friend risks you looking immature as well as your girlfriend running off with the guy.

10. Not listening to your gut

– You know that little voice in your head that says ‘oh he’s bad news’ or the little sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach ‘something about her is strangely unnerving in a Paris Hilton sort of way.’ These ‘primal’ senses are critical not only to forming a happy and healthy relationship, but they can prevent you from being hurt.

"But she’s so hot!"

he argues. "He’s so confident and mysterious." she says. They always are. Move on anyway.

To have your heart and head moving in two different directions leads to confusion. Confusion leads to vulnerability. And vulnerability leads to nothing good at the hands of some crazy person… Need I go on?

Trusting your gut can be a challenge if you feel lonely or needy. But not trusting it is going against your nature. At best, you would be snuggling up with someone incompatible with you. At worst… well, we won’t go there… Lets just say some people in this world aren’t nearly as kind and loving as you, ok?

The goal of a first date

To summarize, first dates can be both a thrilling and nervous event. The basic advice is to be yourself, be curious and keep it light. First dates are like job interviews, so ask yourself "would I say or do this to a potential employer?" If the answer is no, then you are much better off doing something else.

Need help finding someone to go on that first date with? Check us out, we can help!

Happy St. Patty's Day from Kelly, one of our beautiful clients and I!

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Great Date Ideas In Palm Beach!

Are you looking for a great place to take your date out in Palm Beach! Below are some wonderful ideas for restaurants and fun outings!

Grande's Bella Cucina

Growing up in an Italian family that spawned from north Jersey, I was surrounded by delicious Italian food my entire life--penne alla vodka, baked ziti, lasagna, and spaghetti and meatballs were meals I never went more than a week without eating. So when I moved to Florida, I was traumatized; no matter how hard I looked, I could not find a decent Italian restaurant or delicatessen. After three long years, I was thankfully introduced to Grande's Bella Cucina in Palm Beach Gardens. Not only did they have a delicious bakery that made their own canolis (finally!) but their food is to die for. Located in a beautiful plaza, they offer gorgeous outdoor seating as well as romantic indoor seating.

Peanut Island

Peanut Island is a beautiful, scenic little island in West Palm Beach. The waters are crystal clear, the reefs make for fantastic snorkeling, and nature trails allow you to explore the island to your heart's content. And you can never lose by bringing a blanket and two rafts and relaxing at the beach!

City Place

City Place is a classy shopping, dining and entertainment district in Palm Beach County. Situated at the center of Downtown West Palm Beach, they offer free live entertainment on the plaza every Friday and Saturday from 7pm-11pm. If your first date is taking place around the holidays, then this place is a must see! In addition to the nightly Christmas music and enormous tree, you can experience snow flurries every night through December 31st. They begin on the hour and continue for about ten minutes. It's a memorable evening to say the least!

Palm Beach Improv

Also nestled in amongst the shops and restaurants at City Place is the Palm Beach Improv comedy club. Tracy Morgan (from Saturday Night Live) is a frequent guest, along with Norm MacDonald, Pauly Shore, and many other professional and amateur comedians. Here's what impressed me most about this place when I first found it: you can get in for free. All you have to do is sign up for their mailing list and, believe it or not, you'll get emails offering up to 4 free tickets to an upcoming show for the first 80 people that respond. There is a two drink minimum caveat with this generous offer, but the drinks do not necessarily have to be alcoholic.

Kravis Center for the Performing Arts

Again, growing up in north Jersey, I was spoiled with Broadway and off-Broadway shows in NYC over the years. When I moved to Florida, I was sure I'd never find anything that could compare to the performances I'd seen up north...but that was before I discovered the Kravis Center. A state-of-the-art theater that seats 300 on the perimeter of City Place!

Guanabana's

If your date is the active, outdoorsy type, a fun daytime date would kick off with lunch at Guanabana’s in Jupiter. It's an authentic tiki bar and restaurant situated on the Jupiter River, with outdoor seating only and incredible food. What makes it interesting, however, is that after a light meal you can walk ten feet and be at the Jupiter Outdoor Center. From there, you can rent a kayak or paddleboards and have some fun on the water! If you're feeling adventurous, why not try your hand at stand-up paddle boarding?

Morikami Japanese Gardens

This horticultural extravaganza in Delray Beach will truly make you feel as though you've been transported to Japan. The Morikami Garden is a cultural center and botanical display that spans an enormous lake, and it includes a bamboo grove, bonsai collections, rock gardens, waterfalls, and a museum at the end. And there are plenty of private little areas to sneak off to along your path!

Clematis Street

Clematis Street has a more down to earth vibe than the sophistication of City Place. My favorite hot spots include Lost Weekend (upstairs on top of Dr. Feelgoods), with it's cozy couches, billiards, and air hockey tables; the eastern end of the street, which boasts a huge park with a fountain to play in; and Off the Hookah, brand new, red carpet style hookah lounge which is always a neat experience. Thursday nights are the hottest night in downtown West Palm because they feature Clematis by Night, a fountain side concert series that goes from 6pm-9pm and doesn't cost a penny!

Norton Museum of Art

Although it's admittedly not on the same level as the MoMA or the Philadelphia Art Museum, the local Norton Museum of Art in West Palm Beach has some pretty decent exhibits. If you're going to go on a date there, however, the one place inside that you absolutely must visit is the contemporary Chihuly glass ceiling room on the 1st floor, not far from the gift shop. It will take your breath away. I'm a dreamer, and ever since I first encountered this room, I've imagined how romantic it would be to get locked in the museum and spend an entire night beneath this under-the-sea montage.

Palm Beach Zoo

I walked around the Miami Metro Zoo in the middle of August a few years ago and wished I was dead. It was huge, and brutal, and suffocating in the Florida heat. Luckily for Palm Beach residents, the Palm Beach Zoo is comfortably smaller. Of course there's all the cute little animals you could imagine, but you can also check out the Tropics Cafe, the interactive fountain, or even the carousel if you're feeling playful (which you should.)

NEED HELP FINDING THAT SPECIAL PERSON TO TAKE TO ALL OF THESE WONDERFUL PLACES? WE CAN HELP!!

8 Dating Tips Every Woman Should Know!!

Every culture has different sets of rules they follow. Everything from how we eat to how we do our hair is subject to social rules. Nowhere is this more apparent than when it comes to dating. Now some of the advice may not apply to you, some may be laughable, and some may make you roll your eyes.

But some of these tips for women can make dating and mating so much easier. Finding and snagging Mr. Right can be as easy as following some of these helpful hints.

Here are some awesomely good dating tips for women.

1) Men love elusive women. Try not to reveal too much information at once. Don't tell him your life history, your blood type -- just keep him wondering about you.

2) No matter what your salary, try to look great wherever you are. You never know when that special guy is hanging out just around the corner.

3) No matter how tempting, don't discuss old boyfriends. Men do not want to feel like they are in competition with past men. Not cool.

4) Don't come across as needy or desperate. It's easy to want to cling to someone you really, really dig, but most guys will turn and run if you become the clingy girl.

5) Likewise, if the guy you're seeing turns out to be a clingy emotional vampire? Don't be afraid to dump him! You need a guy calling you every five seconds like you need a hole in your head.

6) You don't have to wait for him to come to you -- go ahead, approach that hottie at the end of the bar. You're hot, you know it, so why not flaunt it?

7) Don't ever, EVER knock his mother. She can be the most horrible woman on the planet, but if you want to date, simply smile and nod when he mentions his mom.

8) Try to act as much like a lady as possible on the first few dates. Leave poop jokes, farting, burping, and other indelicate actions at the door. You want to come across as a lady, not as one of the guys.

If you are looking for some help with your dating life, check us out!

Our Happy Newly Engaged Members!

Congratulations Renee and Steve!!